1. To escape the Mundane
Why do married women pursue illicit encounters? Both men and women are seeking affairs outside of marriage in increasing numbers. As many as 62 percent of men and 50 percent of women are "prone to infidelity", as discovered in a recent study by Oxford University researchers.
Trysts and even online affairs can provide excitement and emotional nourishment to spouses who have long since given up on the idea of drama in their lives. However, there are many more reasons a married women might seek extra-marital action, apart from 'for a change'.
2. Because they’ve Fallen out of Love
Picture this: the married couple sitting facing each other in a mid-price restaurant, with nothing to say to one another. It's their anniversary. They haven't had sex in months - by this time, they might even sleep apart. The husband takes out his phone, and because he's done so, so does the wife. They scroll their emails or social media feeds in silence, faces basked in a quiet blue glow; or they message other, more exciting people. And it's their anniversary. This is not uncommon - in fact, you can see this scene in any eatery, on any Friday and Saturday night, in any town. Just ask the wait staff.
With a depressing reality like this, no wonder a married woman might look for some illicit fun online.
3. As an Escape from Modern Life
Modern life is rubbish, goes the song. However, a more accurate version might be 'modern life is difficult', 'modern life is tiring', or even 'modern life is thankless, draining and expensive'. One thing that will always be free is love, and sex. Why pay out - in time and in bucks - for the latest hottest thing or experience, when you could be having some cheap and easy fun flirting online? Married women, in particular, as (often) the keepers of the household, are open to this sort of thinking - illicit encounters are free and exciting, and don't detract from the kitty of their time and energy to be spent on family and kids.
4. For a Story to tell their Friends
You know that TV show where the four women all sit around gossiping about their love lives, their illicit encounters, meetings, rivalries, trysts and flings? A lot of women (not every woman, of course - but a lot of them) secretly fancy themselves as these sophisticated, extravagant, outrageous 'ladies who lunch'. We love to get together with our pals and gossip - spill the tea and rake the dirt. And what's better for a bit of a natter than someone's most intimate affairs? That's practically why we do half of the stuff we do - to have a story to tell afterwards!
5. Because all the Celebrities are Doing It
The obvious rejoinder to this one being 'If Kendall Jenner stuck her head in an oven, would you do it?' - and the answer again being, 'Would it get me a body like hers and all her money?'
We're not saying that having a series of flings outside marriage will make you rich and famous, but there is something to be said for living that fantasy life. Even for a day, if that's what you want. There's also the Desperate Housewives- style fantasy of carrying on with the gardener or pool boy - what better way to emulate the Wisteria Lane lifestyle?
6. To Experiment
Married women want to seek out new people and experiences with the same vigour as they did when they were younger. The only difference is, once you're married and middle-aged, or older, you're meant to conduct yourself with decorum. You can forget about that when you're in the middle of an illicit affair with a stranger - you might never see them again, so what have you got to lose?
7. To Meet New People
8. The Sex is Better
Women experience more intense orgasms with strangers, and the more experience a woman has, the better sex will be for both parties. It's important to explore and understand oneself for a healthy, fulfilling sex life, and if the best way to do that is in a judgement-free, no-strings-attached environment, then that is what married women will seek out. (NOTE: Always practice safe sex!)
9. Married Life is not for Some Women
My friend Sophie leaned across the table. "Can I tell you something?" she asked. We were both on our third beer and had already shared confidences about the guys we wanted to fuck in the office and in the pool of dads outside the school gates. I told her sure. "I don't think we were meant to be married. Ever," she said, and slumped back in her chair.
For every group of new moms, thirtysomething wives, in every yoga class and dog walking group, there is a Sophie - someone who regrets settling down...
10. Because they weren’t ready to get married in the first place
And if this is you, and you are a married woman who wasn't ready to get married at all? Don't worry - you're not the only one.